


Milkovich's don't share

by LivingInWonderland



Series: MINE [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealous Mandy Milkovich, Jealous Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mandy loves Ian a little too much, Nobody understands Mickey but Ian, nothing past season 3 happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 02:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6593947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingInWonderland/pseuds/LivingInWonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Mickey have been together for five years, two of those have been in their own little love bubble apartment and then Mandy moves in and things get awkward.</p>
<p>Mandy doesn't understand why Ian is with Mickey. </p>
<p>It's about time she realises why Ian is the only person that really gets why Mickey is so great.</p>
<p>I SUCK AT SUMMARIES ;/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milkovich's don't share

It had been a long fucking day and Mickey was exhausted. Working construction was fucking taxing on his body; muscles that he didn’t even know existed were hurting like a bitch. As he entered the apartment he was surprised that it was quiet. He checked his phone for the time, 6.30pm. Ian was supposed to be home, but as per usual… he wasn’t fucking here. Since Mandy had moved in with them a month ago, Mickey had barely seen his redheaded boyfriend and when he was home Mandy would be hanging off of him and taking up all his free fucking time and Mickey was seriously getting pissed off. He had never been one to like sharing anything… his toys when he was little, his food, his weed, but the thing he hated sharing the most with ANYBODY was Ian Gallagher and his sister was definitely beginning to overstep the fucking boundaries to the point where Mickey knew he was about to fucking snap.   
  
Mickey sighed and shrugged off his jacket, purposely throwing it over the lounge chair because he knew it pissed Ian off when he wouldn’t hang it up on its “designated peg”. He toed his shoes off and left them in front of the door hoping that Mandy or Ian would trip over them when they _finally_ got home. He smirked at himself as he walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. He found a note written on an old receipt stuck to the six pack of beer in the fridge.  
  
  
  
  
_Mands and I went out for dinner. Don’t drink too much and please wait up for me. I miss you x Ian  
  
  
  
  
_ Mickey scoffed at the note, screwed it up and threw it on the floor. He sculled his beer and left it empty on the counter and made his way to the shower. Fuck them, he was going to go down to the bar and get drunk by himself. The empty apartment was depressing and he was pissed that his boyfriend was out on a date with his skanky sister.  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
Mandy and Ian stumbled into the apartment. They’d had dinner and drinks and she was in the BEST mood ever. Moving away from Indiana to live with Ian had been the best decision of her life. The last month had been filled with everything Ian.  
  
Cuddling on the couch with him during the day and watching movies, night’s out when Ian wasn’t bar tending, dinner dates where they would laugh and hold hands on the way home. Everything was perfect. Except… Ian was still gay and apparently in love with her douchebag brother but, whatever, that was just semantics.   
  
She didn’t care because Ian was always hers first and as far as she was concerned, he was really hers forever and nobody else’s. Her brother was an asshole and for the life of her she couldn't understand why Ian stuck around, but she didn't see a future in it. So whatever...He was still hers.  
  
Mandy didn’t like to share not her dolls when she was little, her food, her weed, and she definitely didn’t like to share Ian Gallagher, but she dealt with it by taking up as much of his time as she possibly could. It hurt her knowing that he would do all the intimate, sexual things with her brother and not her, but she would take every moment she could get with him in any other way possible. She tripped over Mickey’s boots as she entered the apartment.  
  
“That fucker!! Mickey left his shoes in the doorway again. He’s such a lazy ass” she looked up at Ian who just laughed at her. She watched as his laugh turned into a frown as he looked over the dark and empty apartment.  
  
“Do you think Mick’s in bed already, it’s only just gone 10 and he doesn't have work tomorrow?”  
  
If she was in luck he would be asleep and she could wrangle a little more time with Ian and possibly stop them from having sex again, she knew that Ian and Mickey hadn’t been having that much sex lately. At dinner tonight Ian had whined about it. Yeah, she knew it was her fault but, like she says, she doesn’t really like to share her things…  
  
“I don’t know, who cares? Let’s watch something on the T.V and get high. Leave the grump to himself”  
  
She knew she was sulking as she pulled on Ian’s arm and hated the look of turmoil that she could see on his beautiful face. For some reason, he was in love with her brother and she could tell that he was missing his boyfriend. They had been on there own for a few years now and from what Ian had told her they spent every moment they could together. It was hard because Ian did a lot of night work as a bar tender and Mickey worked the days in construction and now that she was here, with no job yet, she was taking up all of Ian’s free time. Leaving no time for Ian and Mickey, no alone time anyway.  
  
“Mands.. Don’t. I’ve barely seen him lately; I think he’s feeling left out or something. He usually waits up for me. I mean, he usually falls asleep on the couch before I finish work, but he never goes to bed without me. It’s weird. Let me just go check. Ok?”  
  
She pouted at him bet let him go. She hated his puppy dog expression but honestly, who cares if Mickey was feeling left out. He didn’t deserve these moments with Ian. He was a grumpy asshole and she still didn’t understand how Ian had fallen in love with him. It’s been 5 years since they got together but, she never really saw it. She watched as Ian walked to the bedroom then followed as he walked through the rest of the apartment. He stopped and took his phone out frowning.  
  
“he’s not here. He hasn’t text me or called. Where the fuck is he?”  
  
Mandy smiled at the knowledge of having more alone time with her freckle faced redhead.  
  
“Probably gone out coz we did? Come cuddle and watch T.V with me till he gets home… Pleeeeaaassee”  
  
She made grabby hands at him and watched as he ran his fingers through his beautiful hair, sighed and smiled at her. He flopped down on the couch and she immediately dropped her head into his lap and sighed as he began stroking her hair. Yep, moving in with Ian was the best thing ever.  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
Ian looked down at his phone for the millionth time since he had come home and found Mickey gone. It was just past 1 in the morning and he still wasn’t here. Ian had sent him numerous texts and tried to call him but Mickey hadn't answered. Ian was beginning to really worry.   
  
He looked down at his best friend who was asleep in his lap. She had dozed off hours ago and as tired as Ian was, he couldn’t sleep not knowing where his boyfriend was. Ian knew Mickey well. Five years together and Ian could almost read him like a book; he had to be able to know what was going on in that beautiful head of his and because Mickey still wasn’t one to express how he was feeling, Ian had to learn how to pick up on his expressions, his body language and all that.  
  
He knew Mickey was put off a little by Mandy being here. Mickey might now be able to show his love for Ian, but it was in the confines of their apartment, their little love bubble as Ian called it. And when Mandy moved in, Mickey stopped with the cuddling on the couch, the lazy kisses in the kitchen as they waited for the coffee to be made; he rarely touched Ian if Mandy was around. He was uncomfortable in his own home now, and Ian hated that he was feeling that way.  
  
He honestly loved Mandy so much and it was great having her here but she was just so time consuming, especially lately. She seemed really down after her break up with Kenyatta and Ian just wanted to make her feel better. When she first moved here, he would take her out places, tell her everyday how beautiful she was to help her build up her confidence again. They would cuddle on the couch some times because Ian knew she needed affection. But it had been a month, he loved her but he missed being alone with Mickey and doing all those things with him.   
  
The front door opened and Ian looked up as his Boyfriend walked inside. He watched quietly as Mickey threw his things on the floor and could see how drunk he was. Ian gently lifted Mandy off of his lap and walked over to his intoxicated boyfriend.  
  
“Hey” Ian said gently as he walked over to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his neck and tried to pull him in for a hug. Mickey shrugged out of his arms and began walking towards the kitchen with the intent of grabbing another beer. Ian followed him in there and pulled him by his arm and turned him around angrily  
  
“I haven’t seen you all day, you come home late, drunk as fuck and you won’t hug me? What the fuck Mickey. I missed you”  
  
Ian pouted at his boyfriend and tried to pull off the puppy eyes that he knew Mickey never resisted. But he could tell by his boyfriend’s stance that it wasn’t working. Mickey looked angry and a little bit sad.  
  
“ _You_ weren’t home when I finished work. _You_ had a fucking _date_ with Mandy Skankovich, so I went out and got drunk. Big fucking deal! You smell like my sister’s cheap whore perfume, so I don’t want to fucking hug you right now. I want to drink this beer and go to bed. So just, go back to cuddling on the couch with your fucking girlfriend”  
  
Yep, Mickey was pissed off about Mandy. Ian knew it was only time before things came to head and with the lack of sex lately, he knew it would be sooner rather than later.   
  
“Hey, that’s not fair. I’m just trying to help her out. She’s had it hard Mick. I’m just trying to be her best friend again. Not her boyfriend. I’m your boyfriend”  
  
“Don’t act like it anymore”   


And as Ian looked into Mickeys baby blues, he could see just how much he hated being apart from Ian. And honestly, Mandy _was_ taking things to the extreme since she had been here. Ian was just as frustrated as Mickey, he just knew how to deal with it better. Mickey was such a child sometimes, he liked to throw a tantrum.   
  
“I’m sorry, I know. It’s been hard adjusting with Mandy here. But I promise you that I’ll make more time for you. I’ve missed you so fucking much and all I want to do right now is lay in bed with you and just be with _you_. Please, don’t be angry with me. Please Mick, I’ll make it up to you” He looped his fingers through the belt loops in Mickeys Jeans and pulled him towards himself. He wiggled his eyebrows at his boyfriend suggestively and slowly watched the smile grow on the older man’s face, he relaxed a little when Mickey finally put his arms around his waist and hugged him back. Ian kissed his temple and nuzzled into his neck. Fuck he had missed his boyfriend so fucking much.  
  
“I don’t fucking like sharing” Mickey’s words came out muffled against Ian’s chest. Ian chuckled a little and pulled back to look his boyfriend in the face.  Mickey was chewing his bottom lip which made Ian’s dick twitch in his pants because it was fucking adorable and it _had_ been awhile…  
  
  
“I know, and I feel the same. You’re mine and I’m yours, no one else’s… I promise you Mick. You and me always baby” Ian kissed Mickey lightly on the nose and as per usual Mickey rolled his eyes at the gesture and the pet name, even though Ian knew he secretly fucking loved it. Ian tugged at his boyfriends belt loops so Mickey was pressed even closer to him. Mickey just smiled and pulled himself away.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Enough of this sappy bullshit, you said something about making it up to me before??? You planning on getting’ to that part anytime soon, firecrotch?”   
  
Mickey slapped Ian’s ass as he walked towards their bedroom, pulling his shirt up over his head and giving Ian an eyeful of his beautiful defined upper body. Ian grinned and could feel his whole face light up at the sight; he made his way over to the bedroom to make sure his boyfriend had his undivided attention. He was on a mission to make his boyfriend feel appreciated and loved and he was willing to give a 110% to the cause.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
Mandy had woken up when Ian had moved her head off of his lap, when she opened her eyes to see where he was going she watched him walk over to her brother and try to hug him, Mickey brushed him off like the asshole that he was.  
  
Seriously? What the fuck was his problem. She would die to have Ian look and touch her the way he tried to touch her brother. He always pushed him off, whenever she was around she never saw him accept a hug, kiss or even a light touch off of the other boy. He didn’t deserve Ian.   
  
She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, really. But even though they had walked into the kitchen and she couldn't see them anymore, their voices weren’t hushed at all, almost like they totally didn’t even remember that she was ‘asleep’ in the lounge room. She listened as Mickey complained about her taking up Ian’s time. She didn’t really care that much when he called her names, he was always an asshole like that and she was used to it by now. She cared though when Ian said he missed Mickey and wanted to spend more time with him, he even promised he would. Which meant less time with her, nope, she really didn’t like that.   
  
He continued to talk about how much he loved and missed Mickey. How Mickey was his and only his and how Ian was Mickey’s and only Mickey’s. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She watched on as her brother walked past and made his way to the bedroom and saw the way Ian watched his every move and how his face lit up with pure adoration for Mickey.   
  
She finally sat up once Ian left to follow his boyfriend and she cried quietly on the couch to the sounds of their moans and the rocking of the bed against the wall. She felt like an idiot for still holding on the possibility that Ian would only ever be hers. But the truth was that when they were in a fake relationship and Ian was fucking all those other men, she never thought that Ian was really ever there’s, always hers.   
  
They got the sex but she got every other part of him that nobody else would ever have. She was starting to realise that Mickey had those parts now. She didn’t like it, not one bit. What did Mickey ever give him back?? When she found out that Mickey had been the secret guy that Ian used to talk about she wanted to fucking scream, vomit, hit someone, anyone!! She remembered Ian telling her the horrible things her brother had done to him, the way he would treat him was horrible but Ian always went back and she hated it. Ian was a fucking hypocrite.   
  
All the times he would tell her off for letting guys like Lip and Kenyatta use her or beat her, and here he was head over heels with an emotionally constipated violent asshole. And she knew her brother; she lived with him all her life. He never let anybody in. No one even had a clue for years that he was gay for fucksake. He expressed himself in grunts, slurs and expletives. In fists, kicks and bloody noses. How could beautiful, loving and gentle Ian let himself be with someone like her brother yet get mad at her for choosing guys that were probably less problematic than Mickey.  
  
She huffed in annoyance and swiped the tears away from her face. She headed to the kitchen and found a bottle of whiskey and began drinking herself stupid on the kitchen floor trying to drown out the sex noises from the other room and the angry voices in her head.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
Ian’s breathing was just getting back to normal after he finished showing Mickey _just_ how much he missed him. He looked over at Mickey and smiled at the blissed out expression on his face. He leant over and lazily kissed his boyfriend.  
  
“I love you” Ian said as he slowly pulled away from his boyfriend’s mouth. He leant back and watched as Mickey smiled up at him, his heart skipped a beat at the sight.  
  
“I know, you too”  
  
Ian kissed him again and then placed his head on his boyfriends shoulder, drawing circles on his chest and listening to Mickey’s breathing evening out as he fell asleep. Ian was stroking his thumb along his boyfriends collarbone and was almost asleep himself until he heard the sounds of glass breaking in his kitchen and Mandys voice yell out a subdued “Fucking shit… ouch”   
  
He sighed as he hopped out of bed trying not to wake his boyfriend up and pulled on a pair of boxers from the floor and made his way out to see what was going on. He walked out and found Mandy picking up pieces of what looked to be a broken bottle of Mickey’s whiskey.  
  
“Shit Mands… You Ok?” He asked as he leant down to help her clean up the mess on the floor. He noticed that there wasn’t much liquor on the floor so he knew she was pretty drunk. He had thought she was asleep and he was a little concerned that she had woken up and got herself wasted. The move and break up had been hard on her and he was hoping that all the time he had put into keeping her happy and occupied would have helped her to not dwell on her shitty love life. It obviously wasn’t working.  
  
“Fine” She slurred in response not looking at him. He grabbed her hand away and saw that she had cut herself along her palm.  
  
“Let me clean that up, what the hell are you doing anyways? You look fucking wasted Mandy”   
  
He brought her over to the sink and washed the blood off and started cleaning it with paper towel. He looked over at her face at her dopey expression that she was giving him. She was smiling so brightly at him that he couldn’t help but smile back, even if he was a little pissed off. The next thing he knew she had leapt into his arms giving him only a second to catch her and then her lips were on his and she was pushing her tongue into his mouth. Before he could even push her off he heard Mickey’s voice  
  
“What the fucking fuck are you two doing????” Ian finally pushed Mandy off and looked at his boyfriend. He had expected the look of pure rage, but when he saw it he was still freaked out at just how angry Mickey looked. His whole body was visibly vibrating; his fists were at his side clenching and unclenching. He was raring for a fight, a physical one at that.   
  
“Mick I didn’t...” Before he could even get out his sentence Mandy’s shrill voice cut through them  
  
“He was fucking mine first!!!!!” She screamed. Ian couldn’t look at her even though he was completely shocked at the words that were coming from her mouth. He couldn’t take his eyes away from Mickey. Mickey’s eyes almost popped out of his head at her words, his eyebrows shot up so far on his forehead they were basically touching his hairline. He even backed up a little away from the intensity of Mandy’s voice. Both Mickey and Ian didn’t move or speak.  
  
“You don’t deserve him; you’re incapable of loving someone as good as him. You’re trash, you’re nothing, and Ian? Ian is fucking _everything_. He deserves someone who treats him the way he deserves and that’s not you Mickey. You can’t be what he needs, he’ll realise one day. He will. Just like I did with Lip and Kenyatta. He will too. You…  I just don’t… You’re fucking _you_!! How can this work?”  
  
Ian still didn’t look at Mandy. His eyes watched Mickey as his whole demeanour changed from rage to hurt to something that had Ian freaking out. Mickey looked like he believed everything that Mandy was saying.   
  
Ian tried to move, tried to form words to tell them both that it wasn’t true, that Mickey was everything he needed, and that he would never, ever leave. But he was in shock from everything. Mandy kissing him, Mickey walking in, Mandy’s hurtful words. Before he could get his tongue to work Mickey spoke first.  
  
“I know” and then he walked out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. Ian finally found his feet and tried to leave but Mandy grabbed him with a vice like grip.  
  
“Ian…” He looked at her then, her drunken dishevelled appearance, the tears staining her cheeks. He felt sorry for her; he knew she was lost right now; hurt by all the failed attempt of love and the feelings she obviously had for him that he could never reciprocate. Her heart was somewhat in the right place, she just didn’t know the Mickey that Ian knew, the real Mickey. But he was so mad at her and because he knew Mickey, he knew that his boyfriend was packing his things and running away defeated, he couldn’t deal with her right now.  
  
“Get the fuck off of me and let me go!! You don’t know shit about what Mickey and I have, what we mean to each other!! Let me go!!” He finally yanked his arm from her grasp and sprinted to the bedroom just in time for Mickey to exit fully dressed with a duffle bag over his shoulder. Ian grabbed him by the shoulders to keep him in place. His heart was hammering in his chest, he couldn’t let Mickey leave.  
  
“Mick don’t do this. She’s wrong, please Mick, don’t leave me” Tears were running down his face and Mickey wouldn’t look at him. Ian grabbed his face with both of his hands and lifted it up to try and make him meet his own eyes but Mickey’s eyes stayed directed at the ground.   
  
“C’mon. Let’s just go to our room and we can sort this out. She just doesn’t understand. I know you Mickey, I do. Please… Please..” he couldn’t stop the tears and his words were coming out in between sobs. Mickey finally looked up at him and Ian’s heart broke even more. He could see that no matter what he said right now, Mickey wouldn’t believe him. He was so used to people telling him he was worthless, used to believing that he was incapable of being anything good. It had taken years for Ian to get him to believe that they were wrong, that Mickey was worth everything and all it took was a drunken rambling from his sister to get him back to that boy that he used to be, the one who would walk away from Ian because he thought Ian deserved more. Mickey was back to believing that he was nothing and that he deserved nothing.  
  
Mickey moved away from him and walked out the door. Ian slumped down on the floor, loud sobs filling the quiet apartment and tears streaming down his face. Mandy walked over to him, sat down next to him and tried to hug him. Ian pushed her off harshly and glared at her.  
  
“You’ve fucking ruined everything!! How could you do this to me?? To him!!” Ian spat out at her, Mandy recoiled from his words but still tried to talk to him.  
  
“It was all true Ian. You’re better off without him, even he accepts that, _you_ need to accept that, you always told me I deserved better, and you do to. You deserve…”  
  
Ian shook his head violently at her words and screamed at her before she could finish  
  
“Shut up! Shut up, SHUT UP!!! You have no fucking idea what we have been through, what he has been through. Fuck Mandy! You have no fucking idea…”  
  
“Then tell me! Enlighten me on how my brother isn’t who I think he is. I’ve known him my whole life Ian. He’s not who you think he is…  
  
Ian scoffed at her, she had no idea. He was still crying but he continued to talk to her. She reached out to hold his hand and he threw it off of him.  
  
“You don’t know him. I know him. It took me a long time to get to this point. _Years_ Mandy, it took me years to really know the _real_ Mickey, yeah he was an asshole, and he can still be an asshole. But he has reasons. You should know. Growing up with a violent homophobic prick as your dad when you are actually gay, did a lot of emotional damage to him. Being told so many times that you ‘aint worth shit, makes you believe it. He did everything he could to shut himself off from everything and everyone. He did everything he could to be the piece of shit your dad wanted him to be. But that wasn’t who he was, wasn’t who he is now. It took him so long to realise that and for me to realise that he had been through a lot of shit and that it had damaged him.”  
  
“My dad did shit to me too Ian. And I never beat the shit out of you, pushed you away. I didn’t go and marry a fucking whore…”  
  
She didn’t know… Ian had to tell her for her to realise.  
  
“Your dad caught us…”  
  
He glanced at her and saw the confusion on her face  
  
“What???”  
  
He took a deep breath to steady himself to tell her the story he closed his eyes and leant his head back against the wall. Breathing in deeply to calm himself down before he began.  
  
“It happened back when Frank ratted us out to Family Services and got Lip and I sent to that Boys Home. Mickey knew I was having a rough time and your dad was going on a run with your brothers and Mick wanted to cheer me up so, he let me stay the night… First time ever. And it was fucking great. He made Pizza bagels and we watched movies all night. We got so fucking high and fucked all night… It was like our first date I guess. We fucking cuddled, Mickey actually let me and didn’t even fucking complain once about me being a girl and wanting to spoon. He made me breakfast in bed in the morning, and we… Uhhh.. We were in the lounge room and we were in the middle of, yeah…. Your dad walked in and, Fuck Mandy, he beat the shit out of me he was probably going to kill me and Mickey freaked out and jumped him and tried to save me. Then Terry hit him with the gun and knocked him out. Your brother knew your dad would direct his rage on him if Mickey did that, he did it to fucking save my ass. Then while Mick was out cold he pointed the gun at me and called up someone and got Svetlana to come over and…. I had to watch. He made me watch, and Mickey, he… He had to fuck her!! And I had to watch!! It fucking tore us both apart. It fucked him up more than me, it took me a long time to realise how much it really fucked him up Mandy. It was rape what Terry did, Terry made her rape him, then he made him marry her.”  
  
Ian opened his eyes and looked over at Mandy, she was pale and shaking. Ian looked at his own hands and saw that he was shaking to at just the memory of that day. He took another breath and continued. She needed to hear the rest of it.  
  
“When you found out about Mick and I, coz I blurted that shit out at the wedding. I was so self-centred about everything back then, only really thought about how the whole thing was affecting me. Kind of like how you don’t think Mickey feels things, but he does, so intensely… but he hides it because he has had to all his life unless he wanted to get the shit kicked out of him. But that day all I thought was… how could he do that to me?… I obviously didn’t mean anything to him?... Fuck I was an idiot. If he didn’t marry her your dad was going to kill me. It was the deal Mickey made. Marry her and never see me again and I can keep breathing. He did it all for me. He lived that lie, let me go, let himself suffer for me because he loved me. But he didn’t stop there… The day I came to say goodbye coz I was enlisting. He couldn’t tell me to stay. But he did go and find Lip. Who he fucking hates by the way, and tell him I was about to do something stupid. Told lip about the fake marriage and about your dad finding us. Said how worried he was and that Lip had to stop me. And lip did. Thank god. Do you know how hard it was for him to have to tell somebody about what had happened, especially Lip? But he did that Mandy. I owe him my life in so many ways. He did a lot for me. He still does.”  
  
Ian wiped the tears away from his cheek and looked at Mandy again, she was crying at the realisation that she really didn’t know her brother.  
  
“I didn’t know. I’m so sorry Ian.”  
  
She was frantically wiping the tears away as Ian continued to speak. He knew it wasn’t her fault that they had kept so much from her.

“S’ok… We don’t talk about it, only Lip knows the truth about that day, besides who was there. You too now I guess.”  
  
“You get back together after dad went to jail?”  
  
Ian chuckled a little at that.  
  
“Your dad went _back_ to Jail _so_  we could be together… We tried to stay away from each other after the whole wedding/ enlisting bullshit. But, didn’t work out. Couldn’t stay away. We would see each other and walk away without talking until one night, probably only a few months after the wedding, I saw him at the dugouts. It’s where we used to meet up when we were seeing each other, it was our place ya know? He was there, he was fucking wasted. He broke down and just told me how he couldn’t do this anymore, admitted that he missed me, that he loved me and he couldn’t stay away from me. He cried in my arms and fell asleep, I just held him like that for fucking hours. Still not really believing that he actually admitted everything he felt for me, worried that when he woke up he’d tell me to fuck off and walk away again. But he didn’t. He woke up and kissed me and told me that he would fix this shit show, do whatever he needed to do to be with me again, to keep me forever and to keep the both of us safe. Best day of my life hearing him say all of that. After that night we would meet up every night there for about 6 months, we would spend all night just talking, smoking, drinking and fucking. Then one night he just didn’t show up, no text message, no phone call. I walked past the house and there were cop cars everywhere. I freaked out, thought that Terry had found out and that something had happened to Mickey. But, Mickey had ratted Terry out to the cops. He’d been waiting for your dad to do something big that would get him locked up for life, and finally a drug deal had gone bad and Terry had killed some guy. Mick got all the evidence he needed and handed it over. You know that Milkovich’s don’t rat, but Mickey went against his own code, for me, for us I guess. He let Svet stay at the house with your brothers and moved here. He only goes back there when the INS visit so that she can keep her green card. 6 more months and then she will be an American citizen and Mickey will divorce her.”  
  
He smiled at the thought of how Mickey had the heart to do that for her after everything that had happened. That was just who Mickey was.  
  
“He’s been through a lot Mandy and this is just the tip of the iceberg, It’s not even half of it but it's not my story to tell, it's all his personal struggle dealing with who he is, what he is. But I can tell you that I did a lot of shit to provoke him back in the day. Pushed his limits until he snapped sometimes. The fights we got into weren’t all just on him. It’s not the same as what Kenyatta did to you. We both threw punches at each other, we both said hurtful things. But that’s just us. The first time we ever fucked was after we bet the sit out of each other. It’s not right according to a lot of people, but it’s the way we are, and I don’t care if it sounds wrong, it feels right for us. I kind of like tasting the blood coming from a split lip that I gave Mickey”  
  
Mandy screwed her face up at him.

  
“That’s fucking gross”  
  
“Yep, but it’s us. It’s how we both like it” Ian smiled at the memories of the fights they had that always led to the best sex sessions ever. He knew he was just as bad as Mickey when it came to the violence. He didn’t care if she thought it was wrong or gross. He fucking loved it.  
  
“I never see him touch you in a nice way, like ever. Never seen you guys kiss or hug. Don’t you want affection? You’ve always been a romantic, you know, when we were younger. I thought _that_ was how you liked it”  
  
“I do and just because we don’t do it in front of people doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. He’s still scared of being gay Mandy. Years of fag bashing and living with your dad, growing up where we did, he can’t shake the thought that being gay is wrong and that it’ll get him killed. But he’s getting there. And with us being here in our own apartment, he always hugs me and kisses me, it’s just that now we have you here and he’s a little scared. He won’t admit it, but even though you know he’s gay and with me, he still doesn’t feel comfortable you seeing it. I was hoping that with time we could get there…. But now I’m not even sure if he’s going to come back.”  
  
Ian started crying again. He was really fucking worried that Mickey would never walk through the door again after what Mandy said. He was scared that he had lost him, again.  
  
“I really fucked up”  
  
He just nodded at her, he wouldn’t sugar coat it. She needed to know that what she said, those specific words had cut Mickey deeply.  
  
“Yeah, you did. But I guess, you just didn’t know. He’s amazing though Mandy, I can’t lose him... I can’t imagine life without him… I can’t…”  
  
He let out a choked cry and Mandy threw her arms around him and this time he didn’t shrug her off. He was tired, scared that he had lost the only thing in his life that was good. The only thing that he couldn’t live without.  
  
“ I’m so sorry Ian. Fuck. I’ll fix it, I’ll find my douchebag of a brother and I’ll fix it. I really am sorry. I just love you so much and I just want what’s best for you”  
     
“Mickey… That’s what’s… best for me.”  
  
Just then the front door swung open and Mickey stormed in through it. Ian and Mandy were still sitting on the floor in shock. Mandy scooted away from Ian and went to speak but Mickey towered over her and bet her to it.  
  
“Listen here. I fucking walked away from Ian over more fucking crazy shit than what your mouth just fucking spouted and I’m not doing it again. I fucking fought tooth and nail to get here and I aint leaving until he makes me. Yeah he deserves more, but until he realises it and tells me to fuck off, I aint going fucking nowhere!! Now, move out of the way I’m fucking tired and I want to go to sleep in _my_ fucking bed with _my_ fucking boyfriend. We’re fucking done here.”  
  
Ian beamed up at him and Mandy just nodded. She looked at Ian and almost went in for a hug, but thought that Mickey might kill her if she touched what was clearly his right now. So she just stood up and made her way to her room.  
  
“You came back”  
  
Ian stood up and threw his arms around Mickey’s neck and nuzzled into him.  
  
“No shit Sherlock, nice powers of observation you’ve got there”  
  
Ian let out a small laugh and pulled back to look at his boyfriend.  
  
“You’re not leaving me?”  
  
Mickey brought his hands up to cup Ian’s face and wiped away the tears that still streaked his cheeks  
.  
“Not unless you want me to?”  
  
Ian shook his head vigorously and leant into kiss his boyfriend quickly on the lips  
  
“No fucking way, not ever! I fought just as hard as you did to get here to you know.”  
  
Mickey kissed him back and smiled up at him with so much love that Ian felt like his heart was about to burst.

  
“Yeah, yeah. I fucking know, persistent little asshole aren’t you”  


Ian kissed his temple, his cheek and then his nose before replying in a low voice into his boyfriend’s ear

“I am when I know what I want. And I wanted you. Still do. Always will”


End file.
